Living in upside-down land #2
#1
My boss' wife:
'Andy, this is a silent kitchen. Do you know what that means? No singing, no humming, no music.'
'No, I know we haven't paid you for three weeks, but that's really your problem, you know when I sign off on your pay in here I'm not really paying attention'
'When was the last time you called your mother?'
#2
The man in front of me on the bus drops something out of his bag. I reach down to pick it up, in doing so, I realise it is a pair of tights.
-'uh, you dropped your..um...stuff'
-'oh, yes, my tights...do you like them? they're great to bite through'
(the man mimes biting through tights)
-'yeah...i guess so'
-'Would you like to bite through my tights?...I'd like you to bite through them.'
-'um...thanks, but...ah, no'
I always knew I had a cult gay following.
#3
My break falls around the time Moonlighting is rerun on Channel 7. I've become evangelical about the programme, forcing everyone in the living room between 3 & 4 everyday to watch.
ok, so maybe this phase of the trip is less action-packed.
#4
Observation. The employees of the establishment over the road all have great names. 'Miss Honey', Tikki, Nikki, Jem, Jazz. I wonder why they never pick names like Eleanor, or Sarah-Jane.
My boss' wife:
'Andy, this is a silent kitchen. Do you know what that means? No singing, no humming, no music.'
'No, I know we haven't paid you for three weeks, but that's really your problem, you know when I sign off on your pay in here I'm not really paying attention'
'When was the last time you called your mother?'
#2
The man in front of me on the bus drops something out of his bag. I reach down to pick it up, in doing so, I realise it is a pair of tights.
-'uh, you dropped your..um...stuff'
-'oh, yes, my tights...do you like them? they're great to bite through'
(the man mimes biting through tights)
-'yeah...i guess so'
-'Would you like to bite through my tights?...I'd like you to bite through them.'
-'um...thanks, but...ah, no'
I always knew I had a cult gay following.
#3
My break falls around the time Moonlighting is rerun on Channel 7. I've become evangelical about the programme, forcing everyone in the living room between 3 & 4 everyday to watch.
ok, so maybe this phase of the trip is less action-packed.
#4
Observation. The employees of the establishment over the road all have great names. 'Miss Honey', Tikki, Nikki, Jem, Jazz. I wonder why they never pick names like Eleanor, or Sarah-Jane.
posted by Andy at 4:56 AM
3 Comments:
i'm glad you've finally found somebody to help you live out your "robin hood men in tights" fantasy..
but spare us the details
Well, would you choose Eleanor when there are names like Miss Honey and Jem there for the taking?
because it's much more exciting and unexpected to have your back torn to shreds by somebody called eleanor or sarah-jane than somebody called Miss Honey.
I mean if you were to go down to the pub and say "a jeez lads Miss honey's after tearing me apart" they wouldn't even bat an eye, but Sarah-jane the reverends daughter?.....
anyway that's my opinion
*goes off to revolutionise the australian brothel industry"
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