People, or doing myself no favours with St Peter.
One of the interesting aspects of this job is that you meet a lot of other backpackers. And, unfortunately, don't get to make fun of them much. So here is a small rant about a few things i keep seeing in the backpackers.
1) Tattoos.
I recently met a man who had the tattoo 'Jim Morrison 1943 - 1971'. Fair enough, you like Jim Morrison, and want to have the dates of his birth & death available at all times. (handy for table quizzes, I'd imagine) But he had it written in Thai. Which he couldn't read, rendering it useless for all but the most multicultural table quizzes.
Anyway, my point here is: Why do people get tattoos in languages they can't speak? Is your 'Harmony' tattoo more harmonic because it's in chinese? And are you deeper or shallower because your sanscrit tattoo suggests inner peace. (by the way, you're off your nut on drugs, desperately trying to sleep with anyone you can find in a hotel across the world from home, I think you may have left the inner peace somewhere along the way.)
ahem.
2) Bondi
There's a suburb of Sydney called Bondi. (there's also a nightclub in Dublin called 'Bondi Beach') Apparently it's very nice. How do i know this? There's a breed of irish backpacker who at some early point in every conversation, will scream something along the lines of:
'Oh Bondi's brilliant, lad! It's only amazing! I'm earning forty-seven grand a day as a labourer, and drinking it all away at night! Fooking irish everyhwere, all standing on tables singing! best year of your life lad! Going mental! I'm trying to get sponsored, want to live in Bondi! I Fooking love it!'
That's great. I haven't been there. I can't wait.
3) Thailand
I think i missed out. We spent the guts of six weeks there. I think we did a lot, really tried to experience it to the fullest, but I can't help come away from most thailand conversations with two thoughts. The first is 'Wow, you found so much there, really had a deeply spiritual experience' The second is 'Spa'.
Seriously, shut up about thailand. It's a holiday destination, It's full of people with bad tattoos and worse opinions, and no grasp whatsoever on irony. (maybe that's it, i'm using irony as an excuse, being afraid to open myself up to new spiritual experiences...yeah. that's the one.) oh thailand, i must return to your cd salesmen, buckets of vodka and full moon parties and have the 'kicking time, but still, like, all spiritual and stuff' experience I missed out on.)
The burst of misanthropy in this post was brought to you by the recent arrival of 12 new backpackers into our previously nearly deserted hotel, and the subsequent loss of any sort of quiet we once had.
1) Tattoos.
I recently met a man who had the tattoo 'Jim Morrison 1943 - 1971'. Fair enough, you like Jim Morrison, and want to have the dates of his birth & death available at all times. (handy for table quizzes, I'd imagine) But he had it written in Thai. Which he couldn't read, rendering it useless for all but the most multicultural table quizzes.
Anyway, my point here is: Why do people get tattoos in languages they can't speak? Is your 'Harmony' tattoo more harmonic because it's in chinese? And are you deeper or shallower because your sanscrit tattoo suggests inner peace. (by the way, you're off your nut on drugs, desperately trying to sleep with anyone you can find in a hotel across the world from home, I think you may have left the inner peace somewhere along the way.)
ahem.
2) Bondi
There's a suburb of Sydney called Bondi. (there's also a nightclub in Dublin called 'Bondi Beach') Apparently it's very nice. How do i know this? There's a breed of irish backpacker who at some early point in every conversation, will scream something along the lines of:
'Oh Bondi's brilliant, lad! It's only amazing! I'm earning forty-seven grand a day as a labourer, and drinking it all away at night! Fooking irish everyhwere, all standing on tables singing! best year of your life lad! Going mental! I'm trying to get sponsored, want to live in Bondi! I Fooking love it!'
That's great. I haven't been there. I can't wait.
3) Thailand
I think i missed out. We spent the guts of six weeks there. I think we did a lot, really tried to experience it to the fullest, but I can't help come away from most thailand conversations with two thoughts. The first is 'Wow, you found so much there, really had a deeply spiritual experience' The second is 'Spa'.
Seriously, shut up about thailand. It's a holiday destination, It's full of people with bad tattoos and worse opinions, and no grasp whatsoever on irony. (maybe that's it, i'm using irony as an excuse, being afraid to open myself up to new spiritual experiences...yeah. that's the one.) oh thailand, i must return to your cd salesmen, buckets of vodka and full moon parties and have the 'kicking time, but still, like, all spiritual and stuff' experience I missed out on.)
The burst of misanthropy in this post was brought to you by the recent arrival of 12 new backpackers into our previously nearly deserted hotel, and the subsequent loss of any sort of quiet we once had.
posted by Andy at 4:07 AM
11 Comments:
Poison their food.
I really should. In fact one of the guys who lives with us used to be in the french foreign legion. and he owes me a favour. So i mightn't need to do any poisoning.
maybe you should introduce them to some of the more exotic locals? that'd get them right out of your hair. Negotiate a group discount!
I'd suggest setting the hotel on fire, but you both live and work there.
Maybe they'd be quieter if you gave them nice cups of tea and a newspaper.
Just thought now would be a good time to mention that you wanted a tattoo while in Thailand..
Ah yes. but a cool tattoo. Like of a monster truck exploding through the sun, while Che Guevara stands on the roof! And underneath, it says CUBA LIBRE! (ignoring the obvious political inconsistencies.) And also, when you look at it from faraway, it looks like Gorbacev's birthmark.
Che should be wearing a pirate hat!
of course! (and wielding a sword!) (what's more, he's wearing a Che guevara t-shirt, being self-referential) Man...I can't wait to get this ink.
In my head the sun is exploding all red and yellow flames around the truck. This is going to be so cool.
BTW, Where are you heading off to next month?
Get rid of backpackers in the Podge style. steal something from one, accuse another and watch them all turn on each other like dogs... then take bets on who'll win the fight. make a profit AND entertainment!
insofar as the backpackers are concerned, someone suggested that we put it about that people are leaving, then...chop them up and put them in pies, then sell them to other backpackers! Foolproof!
It is going to be such a cool tattoo. I want more in it though, and i might replace the sword witha chainsaw. (and if i could put some blue lightning in, that'd be totally-awesome-cool)
I'm here in Brizzie till the 2nd June, looking after the kitchen till me boss comes back from his brother's wedding.
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