"I'm just stepping out for a packet of cigarettes"

One of the unusual things facing us at the moment is the notion that we're all going to up sticks for a year, and leave everything & everyone we know.

Now, this would cause us to be a little sad and wistful, but being the 'look on the bright side' types that we are, we've been looking at this in a rather different way. We would be more of the opinion that our imminent departure affords us a unique opportunity to cause mayhem, before escaping on a year long exile.

So far, I've committed to writing a one man show, entitled 'the penis dialogues' for a theatre festival that will take place here when we are somewhere around Irktusk, safely drinking vodka, chowing down on blinis (a dumpling, I believe), and about as far from independent theatre (and the shrill folk involved) as is possible without a space shuttle.

Other things I'm hoping to develop between now and D-Day:

A horribly co-dependent relationship.
Ideally, this will come to the point where the question 'but why do you love me' is asked. I'll nip out for a cigarette...

A senior administrative position.
"I'm going to need the petersen report, otherwise the merger's going down the toilet!" "Hang, on, I just left it out in the car"

Gambling Debts
This one's pretty obvious. Although I'm really going to have to step up my gambling if my debts are going to be worth running away around the world for...

Any other situations anyone can think of?