Science club #1 - Rucksack testing
Apparatus:
1 brand new rucksack, bought on afternoon of experiment
1/2 bottle of wine, 2 cups of coffee and a small quantity of gin. (to
be ingested in the hours leading up to experimentation)
1 Brother, 20. (preferably bored, full of coffee and study)
1 Brother's girlfriend. (on phone)
1 brother, 11
1 suite of furniture
1 staircase
1 shelf of books
Other considerations:
everyone else in house must be asleep - for best results perform
between 1 & 2 in the morning.
Procedure:
-Return from rucksack purchase / dinner.
-have vague plans of going to bed.
-Find brother still up, talking to girlfriend on phone.
-Wave rucksack at him in excessively gleeful way
- motion to brother to tell girlfriend that rucksack is brilliant.
- Brother should stand back, and say 'that doesn't look so big'
- You should say 'horseshit'
- Brother should shrug, and finish conversation with girlfriend.
- Both of you should then look around room for something to test the
size of bag.
IMPORTANT: For the next step to work, all must be asleep in the house.
- Dismantle couch, and start squishing cushions into rucksack.
- Have brother discover secret latch that trebles the size.
- keep squishing cushions into bag.
Make some tea. (see caffeine procedure #2334)
- Return to find brother triumphantly squishing last cushion into rucksack.
- discover that there is weight in squished cushions.
-Speculate on possibility of fitting smallest brother in bag. (maybe
even bet money)
- Demonstrate 'adjustable torso system' harness to brother.
- Repeatedly point out how 'the weight goes straight to your legs'
- Notice brother's skeptical look
- Wave arm towards brothers leg. He may not, after all, know where his legs are.
- Position brother at bottom of stairs, with bag on his back.
- Stand halfway up stairs, and push down on bag.
- Get brother to do the same.
-Debate on distribution of weight. (glean arguments from half
remembered applied maths classes)
-spot bookshelf
-fill rucksack with books.
NOTE: Do not replace cushions on couch, rather, leave them all over the floor.
-be barely able to lift book filled rucksack.
- have competition with brother on lifting the bag.
- Wake up smallest brother. (he should appear bleary eyed at the top
of the stairs, bewildered as to why his older brothers are loudly
stuffing books into a bag, in the manner of literate burglars.)
-Remember bet.
RESULTS:
smallest brother can fit in rucksack up to his waist.
It's very difficult, nay impossible to carry him like this.
1 brand new rucksack, bought on afternoon of experiment
1/2 bottle of wine, 2 cups of coffee and a small quantity of gin. (to
be ingested in the hours leading up to experimentation)
1 Brother, 20. (preferably bored, full of coffee and study)
1 Brother's girlfriend. (on phone)
1 brother, 11
1 suite of furniture
1 staircase
1 shelf of books
Other considerations:
everyone else in house must be asleep - for best results perform
between 1 & 2 in the morning.
Procedure:
-Return from rucksack purchase / dinner.
-have vague plans of going to bed.
-Find brother still up, talking to girlfriend on phone.
-Wave rucksack at him in excessively gleeful way
- motion to brother to tell girlfriend that rucksack is brilliant.
- Brother should stand back, and say 'that doesn't look so big'
- You should say 'horseshit'
- Brother should shrug, and finish conversation with girlfriend.
- Both of you should then look around room for something to test the
size of bag.
IMPORTANT: For the next step to work, all must be asleep in the house.
- Dismantle couch, and start squishing cushions into rucksack.
- Have brother discover secret latch that trebles the size.
- keep squishing cushions into bag.
Make some tea. (see caffeine procedure #2334)
- Return to find brother triumphantly squishing last cushion into rucksack.
- discover that there is weight in squished cushions.
-Speculate on possibility of fitting smallest brother in bag. (maybe
even bet money)
- Demonstrate 'adjustable torso system' harness to brother.
- Repeatedly point out how 'the weight goes straight to your legs'
- Notice brother's skeptical look
- Wave arm towards brothers leg. He may not, after all, know where his legs are.
- Position brother at bottom of stairs, with bag on his back.
- Stand halfway up stairs, and push down on bag.
- Get brother to do the same.
-Debate on distribution of weight. (glean arguments from half
remembered applied maths classes)
-spot bookshelf
-fill rucksack with books.
NOTE: Do not replace cushions on couch, rather, leave them all over the floor.
-be barely able to lift book filled rucksack.
- have competition with brother on lifting the bag.
- Wake up smallest brother. (he should appear bleary eyed at the top
of the stairs, bewildered as to why his older brothers are loudly
stuffing books into a bag, in the manner of literate burglars.)
-Remember bet.
RESULTS:
smallest brother can fit in rucksack up to his waist.
It's very difficult, nay impossible to carry him like this.
posted by Andy at 7:00 PM
3 Comments:
I'm ashamed to say that, 4 full days after purchase, my rucksack is still in its packaging on the floor of my bedroom. In my defence, I have not had time to squish home furnishings into it because I've been spending a lot of time in work. Rest assured I will update everyone when I open it up and check out just how cool it is.
i'd like to point out that bothof your siblings are a lot bigger than Andy's smallest one...
...forewarned is forarmed.
both of her siblings?
laura has 4, and the lil one would fit in nice and dandy! :o)
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